meh

not exactly in the best of moods today, more sad than mad. I'm 75% sad, 12% mad, 7% nervous, and another 6% happy.

I hate school. At least the end of the year. You've got exams, the end of the year grades, teachers cramming all these things in your head before school lets out for the summer. Ugh. My grades are okay, cept for my F in math and keyboarding. I have an F all because I couldn't find my 20 point project on the computer. I told the teacher I saved it but she just shrugged her shoulders and said that was my problem. Thanks Arbs....you're really a helpful teacher and a ball of fun...

Now, I might have an F in math but I can figure out this:

study hall + F= APR APR + Study Hall= no library No library= no friends

I"m going to cry. That was the only thing that got my through the day was the library with my friends and now I'll have to spend it in fucking APR. I made it a goal not to get in there. Some goal setter I am. This summer is really going to be a waste of time.

I'm so pissed at myself for getting 2 F's. What the fuck is wrong with me? Sure, yeah, I can get it up...but I still let it drop down to an F. And one in KEYBOARDING? maybe I'm just a stupid, lazy, blonde that depends too much on her friends to get through the day.

My dad is stupid when it comes to this stuff too. For example today:

me: *upstairs typing up essay for English that's due TOMORROW*
dad: wanna work out now?
me: no I need to finish my essay
dad: you can do it later
me: no I can't, I'll lose my train of thought and I won't do my other homework in the end
*3 minute argument later*
dad: *slams door and will be pissed for the rest of the day*

FTW, he gets mad at me for DOING my homework and caring about my GRADES instead of working out? Now I'm not only in trouble with my mom, but I also have to deal with asshole for the rest of the day.

I guess this day can't get completely awful...Shannon gave me a kiss, and Zak finally kissed me today. Along with my help though...

Study Hall ( the last one I'll probably have in the library):

erin + me: *talk about the after credit make-out max and her had at the movies*
me: you know I was going to kiss you (zak) before you left the car but I didn't because my mom was in the car
zak: yeah, that would be awkward
me: but mom's not here now
zak: but erin is
me: *thinks I failed*
*study hall ends, zak walks me halfway to next class*
zak: well I gotta run to the other side of the school, see you later
me: byes
zak: wanna kiss?
me: mhm
*mwah* *we walk away*

so it wasn't exactly romantic but oh well I guess. It wasn't exactly as great as I thought it would be either. I guess I should be more...excited or something...I mean when Erin and max kissed she was all like: IT WAS AMAZINGLY AWESOME. Me, I'm all meh we kissed big deal, people kiss, all couples kiss....

is there something wrong with me there too?

*sigh*

school sucks, I hope someone blows it up while we're sleeping one night.

P.s. in the blog spell checker it said blonde was spell wrong cuz I had a type-o and one of the suggestions was boner....-_- o.O