Don't Worry About It!

Okay...that like, really pisses me off when people say that to me right now (No offense to the people that have said that to me).

Golf yesterday was embarrassing. To keep it short, I shot the worst game of my life in my HS golf tournament on a course which previously on a random summer day shot the best score of my life.

Yeah, golf is fucked up that way.

Oh, guess what, Windmill Lakes, that's where Ross is, my golf lesson guy, and at Windmill, our entire scores were posted up. So he could have seen it.

When I realized that today at the range with my dad I nearly broke down crying. I started tearing up and my throat closed tight and I couldn't breathe. I had to stop to pull myself together for a few minutes.

Today everyone on the team was like: It's just one bad score, don't worry about it, it's not like it counted.

1. It's not just one bad score, it's to horrible to even be considered bad, or just anything
2. If I don't worry about it, it's like I'm letting down the team and not caring
3. The whole point of playing is to get a good score so it does count so saying that just makes me feel even worse.

Oh, and I guess my history teacher heard about it too because he came up to me when we were doing this group activity thing and was like:

Him: So Ash *insert horrible score here*
Me: What?
Him: *insert horrible score here*
Me: Wh- oh... shut up. *tears up and puts head down rest of class*

Every time I even think about the numbers it tears me up inside. Last night I spent most of the night crying for Pete's sake. And today, horrible.

On the bus:

people that know I golf: Ashley!!! How was golf yesterday?! Did you win?!
me: ...no...

And another great thing before that happened too. Mrs. Sherry noticed how two days ago my mom was having a migraine and...:

Mrs. Sherry: Is it feeling better?
Me: For now
Mrs. Sherry: My son recently had a migraine. It was horrible. He was so white, and puking, and in all this pain
Me: I could only imagine what that looks like
Mrs. Sherry: It was so painful to watch
Me: Yeah... *turns Melvin up full blast*

Great huh?

PE today we actually played with a real softball. When Zak, fat ass David, and nick bata were all sitting around in the corner of the dugout drawing penis in the dirt they were like:

David: Heh, we should play Russian Roulette
Zak: We should, it's a game of luck, and I'm always lucky

I wanted to say "You didn't get lucky with me" but I held my tongue cuz I'm so nice.

It's a wonder why they all fail PE too.

English class stupid consular lady came in and blabbered on. It pissed me off when she asked us if we were interested in going to the CVCC and nobody raised her hand and she was like: "I would have expected that because almost all the people in the honors classes think 'well I'm too good enough to go there, that's for the other kids'"

Um, fucking no? Show's how bad you are and your fucking job you stupid ass bitch.

Ihateher.

Check the updates list for some new things.

Point break in PE tomorrow. Yayz I guess. At least Zak has to get off his lazy ass and do something then...

Peaches and I were talking about Gerber today. I was saying how while walking out of my last period class he started talking to Devvy Chan so I thought of it as my way to escape and went down the opposite hall. I get halfway down "HEY ASHLEY WAIT UP!!" he catches up to me, and is all "What's wrong, you aren't-" and I told him no and sped away. Then when I was at my locker he pats me on the back and was like "See ya."

I told peaches that I was wondering if he has a whole Ashley Shrine down his basement. Like, you go down there BAM life size poster of me, a lock of my hair, a voodoo doll that looks like me.

Yep. Kinda funny when ya think about it.

ily.