I feel like all my life school has kept telling me:

"Hey, no matter what you do, you're pretty good at! BUT, you will never get your shit together enough to matter."

Dammit, why couldn't I have been a brunette? My hair color HAS to be part of my stupidity. It just has to.

I Don't Know Why

But this secret gives me hope. It calms me. It makes me cry and it makes me happy. It makes me feel like I'm doing the right thing.

Mhm Yep Yep

It was stress.

I was sick.

But getting better.

Gave myself a pep talk.

Got good friend near and far that care.

Life is good. =]

Going To Bed

Is the hardest part of the day for me right now.  I have too much time to think.  I wish I could just take a pill and sleep instantly.

I wish I could figure out what the fuck is wrong with me.

Maybe its just stress.

That's what everyone keeps telling me at least.

Sometimes I wish I was a freshman again.  Just kept to myself, and slit my wrists to solve my problems (kay maybe we can skip that part...maybe) and not bother others with them.

I don't want to have to rely on people.  And now I feel I do too much.  I feel I rely too much on Michael for my happiness now and I HATE that.

I need to find that happy medium and fast.

Ugh.  Curse my dramatic emotional issues.

Curse my new-formed dependency issues.

I can make myself happy God dammit, I just got to remember how. ><