Remember...

Those horror movies you'd watch or still watch?

Like Scream, Halloween or Prom Night?

Do you think anybody would ever do something like that?

Just decide to kill someone for no real reason I mean.

Yeah, I wish it could never happen either.

I don't know whether it's because I was already stressed and upset from my week or if it had nothing to do with anything entirely but this story I saw on Nancy Grace disturbed me so much I almost puked.

I couldn't find the video but I did find the transcripts...:

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Breaking news in the shocking Boy Scout murder. Investigators say there could be additional arrests in the case.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: The participants intended to kill the occupants of the home, if anyone was present.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Four teens currently arrested in the machete hacking death of 42-year-old nurse Kimberly Cates. Kimberly Cates died of multiple stab wounds to her head, torso, arm and leg -- her 11-year-old daughter surviving, now recovering at a Boston children`s hospital.

Investigators gearing up -- multiple search warrants executed, dozens of people interviewed, as authorities search for motive and possibly additional suspects.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Christopher Gribble (ph) is charged with the most heinous crime -- murder in the first degree.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Prosecutors say Christopher Gribble was armed with a knife and Stephen Spader had a machete. Authorities say William Marks and Quinn Glover were also armed when they entered 4 Trow Road in Mount Vernon. Kimberly Cates and her 11-year-old daughter were sleeping inside.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: They targeted this home, essentially ran (INAUDIBLE), because it was on an isolated road.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Gribble and Spader face three charges that include first degree murder. Prosecutors say both suspects hit Kate and her daughter with their weapons. Kimberly Cates allegedly died in her bed, while the 11-year-old suffered serious injuries.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: She remains in the intensive care unit. It doesn`t appear that her -- her injuries are life-threatening. But that isn`t, by any means, to minimize the severity of the attack.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: A sixth grade girl is brutalized.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: The participants intended to kill the occupants of the home if anyone was present.

(END VIDEO TAPE)

GRACE: Straight out to Joe Dwinell with the "Boston Herald." Joe, I`ve just heard the disturbing news that the little 11-year-old girl`s toes were hacked off.

JOE DWINELL, REPORTER/EDITOR, "THE BOSTON HERALD": Exactly. Sources tell "The Herald" that the girl`s toes were chopped off in this heinous attack. She`s now recovering in the Children`s Hospital in Boston and they discovered her toes at the crime scene.

GRACE: To Dr. Lee Vinocur with the University of Maryland School of Medicine, Dr. Vinocur, is there any way -- I know of other body parts -- hands, legs, fingers that have -- and more -- that have been reattached?

Is that a possibility here?

VINOCUR: Well, I mean, it depends on the amount of time and when they found the toes and if they transported them and they didn`t have a long ischemic time. But certainly, with fingers, which are more useful, it depends on which toe. A big toe, they will spend the time to transplant because it helps with balance. But sometimes a baby toe, to go through all that surgery, they might not do that.

GRACE: Why did you say ischemic?

What is that?

VINOCUR: Ischemia means how long the toes were off before they could put them on ice and get the blood vessels to contract so that the tissue doesn`t start to die.

GRACE: OK...

VINOCUR: So you want to get the, you know, the part brought to the hospital.

GRACE: As fast as you can.

To the lawyers, Susan Moss, Mickey Sherman, Anne Bremner. You know, Mickey Sherman, that was to torture that little girl. That was to torture her. Now, you can`t tell me anybody is caught up in the heat of passion, they`re all in a pack mentality and then I find out the little 11-year-old girl has her toes chopped off with a machete. I can hardly form the words, Sherman.

SHERMAN: I didn`t do it. The problem is it`s indefensible. It is absolutely indefensible. I mean, you know, this is why people embrace the death penalty. And, you know, we saw because of the fallibility of the criminal justice system and The Innocence Project results, we say we`ve got to get rid of the death penalty.

And then comes one of these cases, which I call the end of the end of the death penalty, because we all want to say, let`s kill these guys and then we`ll get -- get rid of the death penalty.

GRACE: We are showing you photos. Take a look at this, Mickey, Anne, Susan. These are some of the guys that are now being held on murder and attempted murder on an 11-year-old little girl, murder of the mother. Here are the photos of the suspects from Facebook.

Now, I especially want to show, Rosie, the shot of one of them holding a knife.

Could you please get that one for me?

There you go. And I believe there`s one more holding a knife. There you go.

Now, how would you like to bring that home to dinner, Dr. Lillian Glass?

DR. LILLIAN GLASS: Horrible. It`s -- it`s just egregious. And it shows there`s a lot of sadism. You can see it in their faces. It`s -- it`s repulsive. It sounds like a ritual type of behavior.

GRACE: Out to Clark Goldband, our producer on the story.

What more can you tell me?

CLARK GOLDBAND, NANCY GRACE PRODUCER, COVERING STORY: We are standing by, Nancy, for breaking news. Authorities not ruling out additional arrests. We know four suspects already there in custody, but authorities on the ground questioning more witnesses and seeking more answers.

Also, Nancy, as you talked about, that 11-year-old girl had her toes removed and unfortunately...

GRACE: Don`t say removed. Don`t say removed. That`s not what happened.

GOLDBAND: It was...

GRACE: They hacked her toes, a little girl`s toes -- what is that, the fourth of fifth grade -- off with a machete, Clark. They didn`t remove them. Don`t -- don`t sugar coat what has happened to this family.

The father is out of town working to make a living. He leaves for one night. That night, his wife is murdered asleep in her own bed and his daughter is nearly hacked to death. And now, Boy Scouts and a Mormon missionary being held on murder charges.

What can you tell me about these alleged perpetrators, Joe?

Joe joining us from "The Boston Herald."

DWINELL: I can tell you a lot. Christopher Gribble -- that`s the one with the knife. He was supposedly going to go on a Mormon mission. But he also spoke about how the commandment of thou shalt not kill was -- was -- he was having trouble getting over that.

Facebook friends tell us that Christopher was just racked with hate, anger, rage. And this is also true of Stephen Spader. He, too, was dark. He had turned from a kid who was into, you know, theater, to someone who is just full of hate.

They went, in the early morning hours of Sunday, and just hacked this -- allegedly hacked this family apart.

GRACE: I`m just -- I`m just sick. I`m sick at heart. This child holding onto her life at the hospital. The father -- no more wife, no more mommy. And I`ve got to tell you, trying to raise two children, it takes two.

ily.

Hollywood Watch Out

Michael Jackson
Farrah Fawcett
Ed McMahon
Billy Mays

You're on the big mans hit list.

I'm really sad about Billy though...who's going to yell at me during infomercials?!

ily.

Leaving

Douglas R. Wasson

DOUGLAS R. WASSON, age 54, of Cleveland. Beloved husband of Katarina "Kathy" (nee Arsenijevic); devoted father of Ryan and Daniel Wasson; dearest son of Dick and Jackie Wasson (nee Schroepfer);brother of Tom (Dottie), Jean Mitchell (Pat) and Billy (deceased); son-in-law of Rade (deceased) and Gisela Arsenijevic; cherished uncle of Kristin, Kara, Kevin, Emily, Kate and Kamryn. Doug was a dedicated employee of UPS for 31 years. Passed away on Tuesday, April 28, 2009. Memorials may be forwarded to the American Cancer Society, 10501 Euclid Ave., Cleveland, OH 44106. Funeral Mass at 11:00 a.m. Tuesday, May 5, 2009 at Church of the Holy Angels, 18205 Chillicothe Rd., Bainbridge Township, where friends may call FROM 10:30 A.M. UNTIL THE TIME OF THE MASS. Cremation by Busch Crematory. Friends may call at the BUSCH FUNERAL HOME, 7501 RIDGE RD., PARMA, FROM 2-4 AND 7-9 P.M. MONDAY.

Dad and I went to see Doug today and say our good-byes. Thank goodness he was cremated, I don't think I would have been able to hold myself together for very long if I just saw him lying there.

Met his wife and his one son Daniel. Dad did all of the talking though.

I kind of laughed though. There was a candle next to his urn and it reminded me of a part in this movie trailer where this guy is going "When my grandfather died there was this one candle next to his bed and it started flickering and we all thought that was him going to heaven. =)" and then the other guy goes "Dude you don't pass fire to get to heaven...I think he went to hell."

=p

It lifted up my spirits a tad.

Cyrus let me take his hoodie home as well so I'm snuggling in it.

I love snuggling in hoodies. =)

Rayy wasn't at school today, she's been sick since last week. Poor thing. =/

Feel better Rayy!! *huggles*

ily.

Iz Ovah

The VV final project is finally over!

*faints*

It was fun though. =)

Been very busy, haven't had a lot of time to read blogs or anything like that. My hand is feeling good now too so yep yep. =)

I'm so behind on youtube videos.

><

Every time I watch all the vlogs it makes me really wish I had my camera...Mom said to wait until graduation since the prices would be low then (video camera= good present, ya dig?).

It was lowered down to $350 last month, I'm really excited to see how far prices dropped now.

=D

It's gonna be red too. =)

My Uncle Gary got a Nano Chromatic, he feels like a "21st century man". =p

The rain is nice right now, really cooled everything down. =)

JJ said that one of his teachers knew Doug and that his funeral is sometime on Tuesday I believe. I'm going to check the papers and get my Dad to ask Larry who works back in our warehouse, he's the one getting all the info on Doug.

Saw, like, 3 UPS trucks today.

FedEx sucks...

<.<

>.>


ily.

Little Time

Doug died today.

I only spent about 10 minutes with him every 3 days for about 2-3 months, but I feel like I lost someone really close to me.

I'm weird like that I guess.

Forgive me if I'm being rude or mean or childish or whatever the word is but just kinda leave me alone tomorrow. I need time to stable myself. I can't even do my homework at this point, the only reason I'm blogging right now is to ask that you try not to bring it up and badger me about it, I don't need to break down in the middle of school is all.

That's it.

Thanks.

ily.

Life Is All About Taking Risks

And since a lot of people don't like to take unnecessary ones, I'll do it and risk my hand. Hey, it's in a brace, it'll be fine for awhile.

Spring break was eventful until yesterday. Then it got very boring.

Yesterday mom and I watched The Others together. I liked it, very good twist at the end.

It also got my interest in the paranormal up and running again. Although, I think it's more of my depressing interest in death though. I sense and see some type of beauty in it.

I saw this thing on Antiques Road Show the other day and this woman brought in her collection of English Memorial Jewelery. It really interested me. I found the link on Google, but am disappointed that there aren't any close up shots on the jewelery like there were on TV. =/

I tried to find it on youtube but no luck. =/

I like to consider myself as a happy emo. =p

Worked a tad on my VV project yesterday, looked for pictures and put them on the map. Will probably work on that a bit more today.

Really wish I could take the car and drive around for a bit today. It's raining, cold, and my mom is too sick to get out of bed so it's not like she'd noticed, and not to sound all high and mighty but I think I'm a good enough driver to not be pulled over except for the fact that I look young and shouldn't be driving on my own.

*sigh*

Maybe I'll drive up to Network Video and rent another movie.

ily.

Blah Bleh Meh

Okay, so in yesterday's post we established it was fucking cold in the school.

Today wasn't too warm either but we'll get to that later.

Sunday night I was up late talking to Cyrus and Rayy and watching online movies. Attempted to watch Across The Universe but it bored me so I moved onto Religulous. Then, all of a sudden, I'm not even halfway through the movie when it stops and alittle thing pops up saying "You have watched 72 minutes of video using our site. To continue to watch, wait another 54 minutes or buy our shit."

Okay...maybe I edited the last part a bit...but it was still the same message...

Had my Physics and Spanish 1 exam's yesterday.

I thought Physics was easy, but I got a C on the exam.

It FELT like I knew the answers.

I'm not gonna say anything about Spanish so I don't jinx it...

While Mom and I were pulling out of the school I suddenly remembered that we were supposed to be giving Peaches a ride home.

In the end we pulled into a driveway and she ran over to us.

Sorry Peaches.

The three of us gals got Wendy's though. =)

Picked up a package and post post office (it had Valentines Day present in it apparently) and then we took Peaches home.

Watched the movie Juno that I borrowed from Rayy. It was okay, kinda sadish.

Went upstairs and talked to Cy online and doodled in a notepad and then on myself.

I was using Sharpie so I had to use toothpaste to get it off of my skin. My hands and wrists smelled miny fresh though!

Around 6:15ish my Mom dropped me off at the High School for Cy's Prom Fair meeting.

I was a half hour early so I had to wait.

Didn't know anybody except the people I recognized walking down the halls that I've lost conneciton with. Like Dave Bina or Mackenze Mitchell.

The older girl with the on and off fake British accent was there too. I dunno her name...I think I used to know it though....

Speant most of my time in the end looking at my feet or petending to be texting someone. While inching towards the door I buumbped into Kelly Dean (Carly and Jaime's mom).

She and I cut into the line and went in. =p

Got yelled at for sitting in someone's reserved seat and gave them a bit of additude saying that I missed the sign and to take a chill, it wasn't the end of the world.

I mean, it's not like I wasn't going to move or anything. All you need to do is ask nicely and not give me mouth, or I'll give it back.

I kinda suck at the whole 'respect your elders' gig, don't I?

The show was good. Had some good laughs. Cyrus looked great in his. =)

One of the guys put a sign that said "Hi Mom!" on the back of his. =p

After that I found Cy in the cafe and sat down to wait as he went off to change. I got bored so I decided to count how many guys walking out of backstage would swing the door open and have it hit the table behind it and go "...whoops..."

There were 5.

For the raffle thing they had Cy won the Apple Bee's gift card thing. He hates Apple Bee's. A definate laugh out loud moment. =)

After that we decided we were hungry and went to Steak And Shake. I only got a small plate of fries and he got a salad and a milkshake.

I shot my straw wrapper at him.....because I'm mature....

=D

When he went to wash his hands because they were stick from the milkshake, I took the bill and hurried over to the chash register to pay for it.

I was like "Okay, we're going to have to speed this process up because he doesn't know I'm paying."

The lady laughed at me and we had a quick conversation about how she does it too and such. =p

Hey, he ALWAYS pays for me, why can't I pay for something just once?

Got home, watched Dad play call of Duty for a bit, then went to bed.

Had major chills this morning, couldn't get warm.

Discovred that my headphones are reaching the end of their life. There at that stage where if you move the wire you'll only be able to hear out of the right ear.

*sigh*

Best pair of headphones I've ever had, they lasted really long.

I wished they came in more colors...like red...

=)

Study hall was fun today, talked with Laura from VV. She's pretty cool, we talked about lots of stuff. =)

Had lunch right after. It wasn't as chaotic as I thought it was gonna be with many lunch changes and such.

Lost Peaches and Devvy Chan but Rayy sits at the table now! =D

Many people complemented me on my shiny shirt today. Thank yous, thank yous.

In Spanish we moved seats. I sit in the first row right in the middle. Exactly where I wanna be.

History class we got assigned seats too...

Bleh.

English we got our packet for our research papers...ugh...

Got home and immedeatly started on my homework (but saved a bit for study hall tomorrow) and then fell asleep.

I didn't wanna talk or deal with anyone (if you haven't noticed my rope was quite short today).

Fell asleep at 3:18 and woke up at 6:49.

Missed dinner, it was pick night anyways so I didn't care.

Dad and JJ came up to check on me a few times.

Woke up to Cyrus calling me, I just picked up Ozwald when he said I had 1 missed call.

I was so close! ><

Ate cereal and then called Cy back.

That's about it.

Sorry for the mood today. Not too happy I guess.

Doug, the UPS guy at my Dad's office has brain cancer and won't make it. He's really sick. Quit his job, and everything.

I didn't know him that well, but I feel like I'm losing a best friend.

I always looked forward to him coming late every afternoon to the warehouse to pick up the boxes we packed.

Blah.

Already ranted to Cy about how life isn't fair (which sucks) and how bad things always happen to good people (which I'm tired of seeing).

I wanna call Doug, but what the fuck am I going to say? "Hey Doug, heard you're dying so I'd thought I'd hurry and say goodbye before ya choke!"

I mean seriously.

I wanna visit him more but that can't happen just I'd just break down crying right in front of him. Which is just as bad as the above phone call.

Meh.

ily.

To all my friends...

Remember:

-Everything gets worse before it gets better

-I'll always be there to make you laugh

-My mom is your mother too

-We can keep secrets

-We're just a phone call away

-If you ever need to get away I'm here

-I can't make you're life work out the way you want but I can help you live through it

-Smile even though you're sad

-It's okay to be afraid

-It's okay to cry

-Hurting yourself won't make things better

-Pills are fake happiness

-If you take your hurt out on your friends you'll drive them away

-It could always be worse

-Laugh at yourself every once in awhile

-There is always a positive side

-There is always a way out

-There is always someone that cares

-You're friends will always be there

And I'll always be with you helping you laugh under the sun.
















Now smile. =)

ily.

Answer

(See Rayy's Blog For Question)

There used to be a guy named Jimmy that went to Nordonia. I dunno if he dropped out or was expelled but he made some bad choices and started getting involved with drugs. Then he got shot in a drug bust down in Cleveland recently.

So either someone who knew him that went to our school or was from outside of school decided to pay their respects.

=D

Calm

It's really late right now, almost midnight. I'm laying in my bed with my laptop next to me listening to Melvin and cuddling in Zak's jacket. It's so big, I love it.

I'm feeling pretty good right now, calmed, humble, at peace. I haven't felt like this in awhile, it feels really nice. I miss this feeling, it won't last long that's for sure.

Today was a slow day at work. I spent most of my time up in the offices organizing papers because I didn't want to sort parts in the warehouse and go crazy. My aunt was back, she's sad, really sad, but she doesn't show it. I can see it in her eyes though. It doesn't help that a lot of people keep asking her about her brother. But, life must go on- as much as you want it to stop.

Larry noticed my Death Note bag and pointed at the skull and jokingly asked if I had a hidden dark side to me. I replied "Hi, I'm Ashley. My favorite colors are red and black. I'm into Vampires, Werewolf's, Reapers, and like long walks through grave yards."

I wonder if he knew I was being serious.

Got home from work and went upstairs and spent the rest of the day locked away in my bedroom. Ryan IMed me saying that he wanted to punch Zak in the face and stuff. Ya see, in the car ride on the way home from Dev's party, the radio antenna broke and Zak was 'probing' Ryan when the car shook and it went into his ear. It was bleeding a little and of course it hurt.

Well Ryan said that it hurt to lay on it, hear anything above a whisper, that he couldn't go swimming and that he thought it was infected. He also said he had poison ivy.

Zak said he had some too. I wonder where they both got it, it had to be at Dev's party, but wouldn't we have all gotten it too?

Anyways, Ryan said that if he went to the doc's that Zak was going to pay for the visit, which is more reasonable that punching him in the face, and also said that he thinks he punctured his ear drum and stuff. Zak called my celly a few minutes later and I told him this and he said that something like that had happened to him when he was younger and that he just used ear drops.

I IMed Ryan this and he said that the ear drops wouldn't help because they would go down his ear and to his throat and that if I knew ANYTHING about ear drums I wouldn't need to tell him such a stupid idea.

Well one, read the above of what he said (your throat...?) two, Zak told me if his ear drum was punctured that he wouldn't be able to hear anything (which sounds logical) three, Zak's mom is a nurse (so I'm sure the ear drops might work), and four, Ryan didn't need to basically call me a moron when I was only trying to save him a visit to the docs, his hearing, Zak money, and apologized on Zak's behalf and wished his hear would get better numerous times.

I was planning on asking for an apology, but he'll most likely just come up with some messed up excuse making it seem like it's not his fault, and that I'm wrong and he's right and that I should be the one apologizing for suggesting such a stupid and childish idea. Wow does this sure in hell sound familiar. Could it possibly be what he's doing with Rayy?? Zonkies.

Zak said that he would call Ryan tomorrow or something and stuff. Hopefully nothing really bad happened to his ear.

Talked to Erin for the first time in AGES! We talked about baseball and stuff and then I watched Death Note 3 L Change The World. It's really just what happened during the 23 days once he put his name in the death note. It was boring at first, but it got pretty interesting after the first quarter. The ending was nice, sad, and happy. That's a damn good ending if you ask me.

Zak called again but I was too tired so I said good night after about 10 minutes. I shut my eyes for about five minutes and now I'm awake. I feel kinda guilty now...sorry Zak!

Birthday coming up. Zak said he's taking me to a movie. We're going on the 11th though because on the 12th I'm doing stuff with family. Going to Geagua Lake water park Friday too, Devvy Chan my dad says I can take you. You must come! If it's dad's weekend tell him you're being active! =p

I forgot to put in my blog yesterday that while biking I saw Andy and his family! I didn't think my dad wanted to stop, so I yelled his name and waved but he didn't hear me.

Well that's pretty much it I guess. I should try and get to sleep, I've got golf tomorrow. My game hasn't been that thrilling either. Well, at least that's what I think, my dad says that I've been doing good. *shrugs*

I think I got this shift key thing down now.

ily.

What happened today?

It rained, rained, rained, rained, poured, and then in rained some more.

I work up this morning to the phone ringing. I looked at the caller ID and didn't know the number, so me being me, I decided I would listen in on the conversation a bit when someone else in the house picked it up.

Turning out the number was my aunt's cell phone, and turns out yesterday afternoon her brother died in a motorcycle accident because some asshole made an illegal move at a red light and pulled right in front of him. My aunt was so upset she could barley talk.

What a great way to start the day right?

Well, I thought, well it's going to be sunny today so I'll go outside and read. I read about ten minutes, saw a humming bird, then got attacked but a bunch of fucking bees so I was trapped inside.

Then in rained and rained and rained.

I was switching channels when suddenly on USA I saw it! Hot muscular guys in speedo's in a diving competition. My mom and I were rating them.

Zak calm down I still love you. =) <3

That was pretty much it after that. I talked to Zak online, watched youtube vids, took a shower, had a 3 second conversation with andy, talked to zak some more, and now i'm here.

Tomorrow I have work. My aunt will be on vacation, but next week she say's she'll have to be off too because of her brother and all. Which means more chaos at the office, and that we're gonna bring someone in from Chicago to replace her while she's gone.

This also means I have another funeral in my life to look forward too.

Now, I know that death is part of life, but I'm tired of it. I've been to almost 50 funerals in my 14 years of living, 50!! I'm sick and tired of them! The sadness, the sick smell of flowers and perfume, the floral patterns on the walls, the mumbled sympathetic apologies, the bodies just lying there with there arms folded and eyes closed looking like fucking wax dummies.

*sigh*

I want to think 'maybe I won't have to go' but I'm going to have to out or respect for my aunt and her family....

Busy week this week...no time to see Zak at all =(

I guess I'll be going to bed and stuff...

ily.