I wish the weather would stay like this forever, it's so perfect.
The different colored leaves, the sun. Heaven. =)
Yesterday I got the whole family to go see The Men Who Stare At Goats. Despite the fact the movie was terrible, it was nice having us all together. We don't do things like that often anymore. Mom is either sick and Dad's being an ass, or both.
This year I'm hopping to get all of us to do more together things.
Today was somewhat stressful when I woke up.
First, I woke up late. Then I didn't know what to wear. Then Rayy needed a ride. Then Mom needed the car. And THEN it turns out my Dad also took the car in the morning and wasn't back yet.
But in the end, he returned just on time, and Mom and I picked up Jackie (where I got what I wanted to wear), and Rayy and met up with Andy at Marc's and got boxes for Mom because we're getting our living room painted and re-carpeted and needed a place to put all our crap in.
We went to Sagamore Hills Park and took pictures there for a few hours. Climbed the one tree and did goofy things. =p
Went to Apple Bee's and ate dinner together. It was lots of fun!
I thank Andeth again for not getting angry with the dozen of plan changes and for driving us around.
Got home and did homework. Now I'm here.
I don't know what's with me, I just don't feel like putting too many details in my blog post anymore. =x
ily.
Showing posts with label confused. Show all posts
Showing posts with label confused. Show all posts
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Thursday, October 15, 2009
*Cough*
Jeez, everyone is getting sick. Friends are sick, family is sick. Hell, even I've been sick for the past week. They shut down University school for a week too because so many kids were out sick.
=/
Nothing very exciting happened during school today.
But after school I did have a blonde moment.
So I go to Kohl's to get an application. After finding the customer service desk they refused to give me an application because I was 16 and now 17.
But here's the fun part.
When I walk out the door to the parking lot again I notice something....
The car isn't there.
At first I thought it was the normal, hey you're in the wrong row but as I started looking around, I couldn't see it still.
Next I tried hitting the unlock button, hoping the lights would flash and attract my attention. However, no lights either.
Kinda think of it, none of the cars looked like mine.
I called my Mom up and asked how to turn the panic alarm off on the car once you press the button (so I didn't look like a moron when I hit it to find the car and not being able to shut it down) and she asked me why I needed to.
I told her I couldn't find the car and I took a deep breath and pressed the panic button on the keys...
No alarm. No ringing. No nothing.
Naturally I started freaking a little and thinking the worst.
But Mom came to the rescue!
You see, I hardy ever shop at Kohl's (wonder why I wanna work there huh? =p) thus, I don't know the layout all that well.
So when my Mother asked me "Well, are you in the right parking lot?"...well...yeah.
Turns out there are two parking lots that look exactly the same.
.....
But the car was in the other one!!
Tonight everyone (except Dad) is sick in the house, and he's going out of town tomorrow. So I'm going to take care of Mommy and JJ tomorrow.
I'm sensing a pajama 'party'?
ily.
=/
Nothing very exciting happened during school today.
But after school I did have a blonde moment.
So I go to Kohl's to get an application. After finding the customer service desk they refused to give me an application because I was 16 and now 17.
But here's the fun part.
When I walk out the door to the parking lot again I notice something....
The car isn't there.
At first I thought it was the normal, hey you're in the wrong row but as I started looking around, I couldn't see it still.
Next I tried hitting the unlock button, hoping the lights would flash and attract my attention. However, no lights either.
Kinda think of it, none of the cars looked like mine.
I called my Mom up and asked how to turn the panic alarm off on the car once you press the button (so I didn't look like a moron when I hit it to find the car and not being able to shut it down) and she asked me why I needed to.
I told her I couldn't find the car and I took a deep breath and pressed the panic button on the keys...
No alarm. No ringing. No nothing.
Naturally I started freaking a little and thinking the worst.
But Mom came to the rescue!
You see, I hardy ever shop at Kohl's (wonder why I wanna work there huh? =p) thus, I don't know the layout all that well.
So when my Mother asked me "Well, are you in the right parking lot?"...well...yeah.
Turns out there are two parking lots that look exactly the same.
.....
But the car was in the other one!!
Tonight everyone (except Dad) is sick in the house, and he's going out of town tomorrow. So I'm going to take care of Mommy and JJ tomorrow.
I'm sensing a pajama 'party'?
ily.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Fuck School, Golf, and Driving. I'd Rather Be Stupid, Unskilled, and Have No License.
My brother texted me 5 minutes ago saying "Hey Ashley, we should play natzi zombies tomorrow and can I have a hug?"
I could give him the hug, but I told him I had a lot of stuff to do tomorrow.
I've been telling him I have "a lot of stuff to do tomorrow" for a while now.
I can't deal with saying "I'm too busy for you right now" to my own brother anymore.
ily.
I could give him the hug, but I told him I had a lot of stuff to do tomorrow.
I've been telling him I have "a lot of stuff to do tomorrow" for a while now.
I can't deal with saying "I'm too busy for you right now" to my own brother anymore.
ily.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Return Of The Grump
Today I woke up earlier than I normally did and attempted to do the Spanish 1 packet. In the end, I didn't do much of it at all. Not even a whole page.
Dad brought me home some Wendy's (who is now following me on twitter! =D) and then left again and I ate it and watched Twilight Zone on Syfy.
When it started raining really hard here I rushed upstairs to get on a pair of old jeans and a hoodie and walked around outside in my backyard. Then I found some ankle deep puddles and jumped around in them!
I bet my neighbors thought I was nuts. =p
Went inside and took a quick shower before going on my laptop a little more and then started to make some dinner for myself and Dad when he got home. I made burgers and a hot dog. =)
And no, I didn't catch on fire this time. =p
Daddy said it was good too!
After that JJ came home and I signed his cast and when he fell asleep, put a Hello Kitty band aid on it.
When Jackie comes over we're gonna paint his toe nails when he falls asleep for my revenge because he yelled at me when I signed his cast and said "Don't write so big there's a lot better people that need to sign it."
I think we're gonna color his cast too.
Took a small nap then hung out at the Twist and Shake for a bit because I needed to get away.
Now I'm here watching JJ while he eats his chocolate ice cream I brought home (thanks to Anthony!) =)
Tomorrow I gotta cut the grass (if it stops raining) and Dad's gonna teach me how to use the new tractor.
ily.
Dad brought me home some Wendy's (who is now following me on twitter! =D) and then left again and I ate it and watched Twilight Zone on Syfy.
When it started raining really hard here I rushed upstairs to get on a pair of old jeans and a hoodie and walked around outside in my backyard. Then I found some ankle deep puddles and jumped around in them!
I bet my neighbors thought I was nuts. =p
Went inside and took a quick shower before going on my laptop a little more and then started to make some dinner for myself and Dad when he got home. I made burgers and a hot dog. =)
And no, I didn't catch on fire this time. =p
Daddy said it was good too!
After that JJ came home and I signed his cast and when he fell asleep, put a Hello Kitty band aid on it.
When Jackie comes over we're gonna paint his toe nails when he falls asleep for my revenge because he yelled at me when I signed his cast and said "Don't write so big there's a lot better people that need to sign it."
I think we're gonna color his cast too.
Took a small nap then hung out at the Twist and Shake for a bit because I needed to get away.
Now I'm here watching JJ while he eats his chocolate ice cream I brought home (thanks to Anthony!) =)
Tomorrow I gotta cut the grass (if it stops raining) and Dad's gonna teach me how to use the new tractor.
ily.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
50 Years!!
Wow, long time no post, no?
I feel bad for the lack of posts, I just haven't been in the mood for much of anything lately. Been in a pretty big rut yet again.
But I'm back!
This morning I slept in until I couldn't any longer and took a shower, fuzzed over my hair and thought it looked horrible so took another quick shower, and then went frantic over what to wear to the reunion.
After that I decided to finally put some songs I downloaded onto Melvin (a.k.a IPod) so I can listen to them on the car ride. Well, turns out it decided it was the perfect time to freeze (I kept telling JJ that "My baby got a sudden case of summer hypothermia" =p).
Being with how frustrated I've been (at myself) for the last 2 1/2 weeks or so, I had finally had it and started bawling like a baby. Again.
I was mostly worried that Melvin wouldn't work again, I greatly depend on him.
(No. It is not odd that I treat my most fondest material possession like a person).
...
(And no. I don't tuck him in at night, try to feed him etc.).
But anywho, we got to the family reunion right on time (this year it was our 5oth!) and I filmed a few things and whatnot.
My cousin Todd and Olga came with their two kids (Todd is a directer/producer and his beautiful wife is a professional photographer). Ethan is 2 or 3 and Julian is 7 weeks old! Both are adorable!
There was a small water balloon toss, and a silly string battle! Grammy danced and sang while the small 3-person band played. Food was good too. The cake even had a picture of one of the older family reunions! It was really good too! =)
When Todd and Olga left to go to Todd's high school reunion somewhere he left his kids with us. I watched little Ethan and we had a great time! When ever I would ask him for the volleyball he would go "No!" and then look at me, throw it, point and go "Look! it get awey der!" and then race me to get it and land on top of it. =p
Then when I gave him a cookie and asked him for a small piece he gave me this little minuscule of a crumb and stuck it in my mouth! xD
Everybody said we looked cute together and that I'm really good with kids. Which makes me think that maybe I'll major in early childhood development/education and then minor in filming.
Tomorrow I'll be getting up early to volunteer with Denise (a lady in the office building down from my Dad's) at the Richfield Sweet Corn Ride. I'm not gonna be in it, but I'll be making sure drinks are cold and the food is warm and ready!
Then hopefully I can get out to golf with my Dad to prepare for my tournament on Monday.
Fun, fun!
ily.
I feel bad for the lack of posts, I just haven't been in the mood for much of anything lately. Been in a pretty big rut yet again.
But I'm back!
This morning I slept in until I couldn't any longer and took a shower, fuzzed over my hair and thought it looked horrible so took another quick shower, and then went frantic over what to wear to the reunion.
After that I decided to finally put some songs I downloaded onto Melvin (a.k.a IPod) so I can listen to them on the car ride. Well, turns out it decided it was the perfect time to freeze (I kept telling JJ that "My baby got a sudden case of summer hypothermia" =p).
Being with how frustrated I've been (at myself) for the last 2 1/2 weeks or so, I had finally had it and started bawling like a baby. Again.
I was mostly worried that Melvin wouldn't work again, I greatly depend on him.
(No. It is not odd that I treat my most fondest material possession like a person).
...
(And no. I don't tuck him in at night, try to feed him etc.).
But anywho, we got to the family reunion right on time (this year it was our 5oth!) and I filmed a few things and whatnot.
My cousin Todd and Olga came with their two kids (Todd is a directer/producer and his beautiful wife is a professional photographer). Ethan is 2 or 3 and Julian is 7 weeks old! Both are adorable!
There was a small water balloon toss, and a silly string battle! Grammy danced and sang while the small 3-person band played. Food was good too. The cake even had a picture of one of the older family reunions! It was really good too! =)
When Todd and Olga left to go to Todd's high school reunion somewhere he left his kids with us. I watched little Ethan and we had a great time! When ever I would ask him for the volleyball he would go "No!" and then look at me, throw it, point and go "Look! it get awey der!" and then race me to get it and land on top of it. =p
Then when I gave him a cookie and asked him for a small piece he gave me this little minuscule of a crumb and stuck it in my mouth! xD
Everybody said we looked cute together and that I'm really good with kids. Which makes me think that maybe I'll major in early childhood development/education and then minor in filming.
Tomorrow I'll be getting up early to volunteer with Denise (a lady in the office building down from my Dad's) at the Richfield Sweet Corn Ride. I'm not gonna be in it, but I'll be making sure drinks are cold and the food is warm and ready!
Then hopefully I can get out to golf with my Dad to prepare for my tournament on Monday.
Fun, fun!
ily.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
What's Been Happenin'
So my cousins grad party was interesting.
You see, my Aunt Jerry has Alzheimer and she kept asking my Mom if she was excited about the new little one that will be growing at the family reunion. Now my cousin Todd's wife just had another son and he'd be a month old when they bring him the the reunion, so we though she meant him.
Well then she started talking to me and saying "You're so small after all this time it's amazing!"
And then she suddenly spurts out "I mean, you're pregnant, right?"
I told her that I wasn't and I was only 15 and she went "Oh, I'm sorry dear!"
You don't know how hard it was for me not to burst out laughing right then and there.
And then Dad had me take the turnpike home and I didn't pull close enough to get the ticket. =p
Mom, JJ, and I watched Drilbit Taylor after that, it was good. =D
In cars at 9Am today, I had only about 3 hours of sleep before hand.
Hellz to the yeah.
Kept on getting a little far left in my lane on the highway since I normally drive with just my right hand while on it.
Practiced maneuverability and I beasted at it as well.
Three's on everything again. Secretly driving illegally on the road at 13 has it's benefits I guess.
The kid who was next had to drive me to my Grammy's and her was really nervous, you could tell he hadn't been out driving a lot.
We got the back bed all planted and mulched and it's really pretty!!
Took a small nap and then got ready for Jessica's grad party.
Cyrus picked me up and we went to a Natalie Petal's house first which was fun.
They had good cookies!
When we arrived at Jessica's house Karaoke was underway. I sang along with peeps. We then shot off fireworks (and for those of you that don't live in Ohio fireworks are illegal to shoot off although you can buy a shit load of them and no on will care) in the backyard and then Caramel, Mike, Gerber and I went to Caramel's house to grab some extra controllers to play Halo.
The cops were on their way to Jessica's house so we called Bill (her brother) and told them to hide the rest.
Sucked at Halo but had hell of a lot of fun playing it.
Cyrus' grad party is tomorrow. I already know what I'm going to write in his card I just need to make it.
My hand is killing me now, I will go to bed!
ily.
You see, my Aunt Jerry has Alzheimer and she kept asking my Mom if she was excited about the new little one that will be growing at the family reunion. Now my cousin Todd's wife just had another son and he'd be a month old when they bring him the the reunion, so we though she meant him.
Well then she started talking to me and saying "You're so small after all this time it's amazing!"
And then she suddenly spurts out "I mean, you're pregnant, right?"
I told her that I wasn't and I was only 15 and she went "Oh, I'm sorry dear!"
You don't know how hard it was for me not to burst out laughing right then and there.
And then Dad had me take the turnpike home and I didn't pull close enough to get the ticket. =p
Mom, JJ, and I watched Drilbit Taylor after that, it was good. =D
In cars at 9Am today, I had only about 3 hours of sleep before hand.
Hellz to the yeah.
Kept on getting a little far left in my lane on the highway since I normally drive with just my right hand while on it.
Practiced maneuverability and I beasted at it as well.
Three's on everything again. Secretly driving illegally on the road at 13 has it's benefits I guess.
The kid who was next had to drive me to my Grammy's and her was really nervous, you could tell he hadn't been out driving a lot.
We got the back bed all planted and mulched and it's really pretty!!
Took a small nap and then got ready for Jessica's grad party.
Cyrus picked me up and we went to a Natalie Petal's house first which was fun.
They had good cookies!
When we arrived at Jessica's house Karaoke was underway. I sang along with peeps. We then shot off fireworks (and for those of you that don't live in Ohio fireworks are illegal to shoot off although you can buy a shit load of them and no on will care) in the backyard and then Caramel, Mike, Gerber and I went to Caramel's house to grab some extra controllers to play Halo.
The cops were on their way to Jessica's house so we called Bill (her brother) and told them to hide the rest.
Sucked at Halo but had hell of a lot of fun playing it.
Cyrus' grad party is tomorrow. I already know what I'm going to write in his card I just need to make it.
My hand is killing me now, I will go to bed!
ily.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
List
So I got some questioning about my arm.
I had a lot of things to do so I thought I would write them down so I didn't forget. I wrote the stuff on my arm.
Ya see, I knew if I wrote it in a journal or something I'd forget to look in that or lose it. And, if I lost my arm...well we have a problem.
=p
My one arm was filled with a ton of stuffs!
Today was Cy and my 3 months, he made me a card and put a chocolate bar in it. ^-^
Spanish Smith said she liked my house and on the rubric put that it was very creative with a smiley face! =D
Art Cyrus came in at the end from helping the Middle School kids with their class lists!
I was so happy. =)
English class was awesome because my neighbor was our sub!! Mrs. Young! =D
Favorite class of the day. =)
Got home, watched a bit of CSI, then went upstairs, showered, and went to sleep.
Mom came up stairs at around 7 (3 hours later) and was like "OMG ASHLET ARE YOU SICK?! WHAT'S WRONG HONEY?!"
I was just tired, I didn't want dinner either so meh.
Mom and I watched the thunderstorm, it was a good one.
We brought Hammy outside and he tried to eat the falling rain. =p
Now I'm up here, was going to finish my Study Island stuffs but I don't feel like it now. I have all week to do it anyways.
ily.
I had a lot of things to do so I thought I would write them down so I didn't forget. I wrote the stuff on my arm.
Ya see, I knew if I wrote it in a journal or something I'd forget to look in that or lose it. And, if I lost my arm...well we have a problem.
=p
My one arm was filled with a ton of stuffs!
Today was Cy and my 3 months, he made me a card and put a chocolate bar in it. ^-^
Spanish Smith said she liked my house and on the rubric put that it was very creative with a smiley face! =D
Art Cyrus came in at the end from helping the Middle School kids with their class lists!
I was so happy. =)
English class was awesome because my neighbor was our sub!! Mrs. Young! =D
Favorite class of the day. =)
Got home, watched a bit of CSI, then went upstairs, showered, and went to sleep.
Mom came up stairs at around 7 (3 hours later) and was like "OMG ASHLET ARE YOU SICK?! WHAT'S WRONG HONEY?!"
I was just tired, I didn't want dinner either so meh.
Mom and I watched the thunderstorm, it was a good one.
We brought Hammy outside and he tried to eat the falling rain. =p
Now I'm up here, was going to finish my Study Island stuffs but I don't feel like it now. I have all week to do it anyways.
ily.
Monday, March 9, 2009
The Busy Bumbly Bee
School was okay today I guess.
My physics class was like Lunesta, it's side effects were drowsiness, and seeing a green butterfly flutter across the room (or maybe that was just my imagination...).
Math I forgot my review sheet at home, lucky for me Mr. L gave everyone full credit for doing it anyways since we went over the whole thing. He gave us another review thing, which is optional, but I think I'm going to do it if I have time.
During guidance today I went to see if my shoes and stuff were given away that I had left in my PE locked from last semester (like, over 5 weeks ago). They're gone. 3rd pair of shoes lost to PE class. The 1st 2 were stolen, I came to find my locker broken into and them not there. The one day I leave them because I had too much shit to carry that day.
There went $100.
And now these shoes (which was my bad) to add to that to make that $120.
Yippee.
Spanish class it seemed like Smith liked how I made my house 3D...
History we did study island stuffs, but we use the cave computer lad. I dunno what it's near, but there is something near there that makes a weird noise and it always gives me a headache. I tried to put my headphones in but they didn't do jack shit to help me concentrate either.
Art Cyrus came to find that his bowl had broken, either it just broke by itself (less likely) or some dumbass accidentally broke it (most likely).
He has so start all over now. =/
English we worked in groups so that was fun.
Got home, drove Hammy to the vet with mom in heavy traffic. And lemme tell you, not being able to go 50 and being stuck bumper to bumper?
NOT. FUN.
Oh, I savor the day I get to go 80 on the highway...
Did study island until dinner after I drove home and then cleaned my room.
Actually, I cleaned my room (as in, picked up anything that was on the floor...my dressers are a different story...) and then decided to clear out my closet of all my old, small, and ugly clothes.
2 large garbage bag fulls.
And there is probably more coming, I still need to clear out the shit on the floor of the closet as well.
Meh.
It will be nice once it's all done though. We'll see how long I can keep my shit in order.
I remember when my bed used to not have anything under it either...
I'm going to do the math...later I guess....I know how to do it, it's not like it's that hard *knocks on wood*
I'd do it in the morning but I need that time to study Spanish vocab for my test tomorrow.
Been thinking about some goals for this summer.
I've already got The List of stupid things to do this summer. Most of which I want to video tape. This, would require a video camera, which I don't have. I've been looking on Best Buy's web site but I like to actually go into the store.
Also, I dunno what to buy, I'm not all that technology savvy.
But anyways, I've got 2 more things I wanna do this summer.
-Learn how to write with my left hand
-Learn how to ride a skateboard
Actually, the last one should be 'learn how to do tricks on a skateboard' since I already can ride one.
I was riding on JJ's today actually. =D
Hero's was pretty good.
Will have to talk about it with Andy tomorrow! =)
ily.
My physics class was like Lunesta, it's side effects were drowsiness, and seeing a green butterfly flutter across the room (or maybe that was just my imagination...).
Math I forgot my review sheet at home, lucky for me Mr. L gave everyone full credit for doing it anyways since we went over the whole thing. He gave us another review thing, which is optional, but I think I'm going to do it if I have time.
During guidance today I went to see if my shoes and stuff were given away that I had left in my PE locked from last semester (like, over 5 weeks ago). They're gone. 3rd pair of shoes lost to PE class. The 1st 2 were stolen, I came to find my locker broken into and them not there. The one day I leave them because I had too much shit to carry that day.
There went $100.
And now these shoes (which was my bad) to add to that to make that $120.
Yippee.
Spanish class it seemed like Smith liked how I made my house 3D...
History we did study island stuffs, but we use the cave computer lad. I dunno what it's near, but there is something near there that makes a weird noise and it always gives me a headache. I tried to put my headphones in but they didn't do jack shit to help me concentrate either.
Art Cyrus came to find that his bowl had broken, either it just broke by itself (less likely) or some dumbass accidentally broke it (most likely).
He has so start all over now. =/
English we worked in groups so that was fun.
Got home, drove Hammy to the vet with mom in heavy traffic. And lemme tell you, not being able to go 50 and being stuck bumper to bumper?
NOT. FUN.
Oh, I savor the day I get to go 80 on the highway...
Did study island until dinner after I drove home and then cleaned my room.
Actually, I cleaned my room (as in, picked up anything that was on the floor...my dressers are a different story...) and then decided to clear out my closet of all my old, small, and ugly clothes.
2 large garbage bag fulls.
And there is probably more coming, I still need to clear out the shit on the floor of the closet as well.
Meh.
It will be nice once it's all done though. We'll see how long I can keep my shit in order.
I remember when my bed used to not have anything under it either...
I'm going to do the math...later I guess....I know how to do it, it's not like it's that hard *knocks on wood*
I'd do it in the morning but I need that time to study Spanish vocab for my test tomorrow.
Been thinking about some goals for this summer.
I've already got The List of stupid things to do this summer. Most of which I want to video tape. This, would require a video camera, which I don't have. I've been looking on Best Buy's web site but I like to actually go into the store.
Also, I dunno what to buy, I'm not all that technology savvy.
But anyways, I've got 2 more things I wanna do this summer.
-Learn how to write with my left hand
-Learn how to ride a skateboard
Actually, the last one should be 'learn how to do tricks on a skateboard' since I already can ride one.
I was riding on JJ's today actually. =D
Hero's was pretty good.
Will have to talk about it with Andy tomorrow! =)
ily.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Monday, June 23, 2008
Little Ocean Breeze
As you can hear I finally got ocean wave sounds to play in my background. Yayz I guess.
Haven't exactly been in the greatest of moods lately. Been very out of it today too.
Didn't get much sleep last night. Kept waking up until around 5 i decided to just get up. I'm really tired. I hope I get enough sleep for golf tomorrow.
Larry noticed my mood today. He asked what was wrong, and I said nothing why, and he said I kept staring all sadly into space a lot. I guess I was.
My confidence level seems to have dropped down to a little line. I've noticed I'm not really eating much either. Like, I had a small bowl of soup for breakfast (shut up we ran outta milk so I couldn't have my fruit loops) and a large fry and that's it. My mom was all up to getting me something from Wendys, which I'm usually begging her to get me fast food (and I love Wendys), but I just didn't care and I wasn't hungry.
*sigh*
I had 2 cheesy sticks left over from pizza hut Friday.
Wrote more of my story, now all i gotta do is type it. I'll try and get to that later on tonight or something....
oh, I guess one good thing happened today. Ya know that snickers song from the commercial?? This one? I downloaded it from limewire and put it to my Ipod. =)
There's a smile!
Ummmm weird question, anyone know any dark, gothic, emo, rap, scream-o, techno, club music??
Yeah.
I need it for another book i'm planning to write. I'd like the music to be in an Asian language, and it to match what you would dance to at a dirty vampire night club. And also there doesn't have to be lyrics. I looked up on AOL radio and i've heard some songs from the genre Trance that I like. Maybe look there for ideas?
Thanks for the help.
ily.
Haven't exactly been in the greatest of moods lately. Been very out of it today too.
Didn't get much sleep last night. Kept waking up until around 5 i decided to just get up. I'm really tired. I hope I get enough sleep for golf tomorrow.
Larry noticed my mood today. He asked what was wrong, and I said nothing why, and he said I kept staring all sadly into space a lot. I guess I was.
My confidence level seems to have dropped down to a little line. I've noticed I'm not really eating much either. Like, I had a small bowl of soup for breakfast (shut up we ran outta milk so I couldn't have my fruit loops) and a large fry and that's it. My mom was all up to getting me something from Wendys, which I'm usually begging her to get me fast food (and I love Wendys), but I just didn't care and I wasn't hungry.
*sigh*
I had 2 cheesy sticks left over from pizza hut Friday.
Wrote more of my story, now all i gotta do is type it. I'll try and get to that later on tonight or something....
oh, I guess one good thing happened today. Ya know that snickers song from the commercial?? This one? I downloaded it from limewire and put it to my Ipod. =)
There's a smile!
Ummmm weird question, anyone know any dark, gothic, emo, rap, scream-o, techno, club music??
Yeah.
I need it for another book i'm planning to write. I'd like the music to be in an Asian language, and it to match what you would dance to at a dirty vampire night club. And also there doesn't have to be lyrics. I looked up on AOL radio and i've heard some songs from the genre Trance that I like. Maybe look there for ideas?
Thanks for the help.
ily.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
My Baby!
Yay! Good news! I got my laptop back! And now it's got a name, it's gonna be called Jim-Bob. Oh yeeeeeah.
Bad news though: my main celly screen has gone wack-o! It's all faint, and flickers a lot...my dad said he'll talk to Verizon though so that's good.
uuum...oh! My favorite show Bones is back on! It's was a pretty good one on last night, kept you thinking.
While working out I decided to talk in a country accent the whole time, which made us all laugh. My brother doesn't have a very good one so he gave up on it so my dad and I annoyed the heck out of him. I pulled a mussel in my arm while working out. I lifted up the weight while i was lying on the ground to do my sit-ups and my arm gave out for some weird reason and the weight twisted it funny as it went down.
I still did pretty good during badminton nonetheless! Rayy was good too! We played against Miranda W and Ailbert (I think her real name is Allison). We had to go into a tie breaker and we won! Woo hoo!
Biology was kind of cool. Some of the bacteria in the experiment glowed under a UV light and UV lights are cool anyways, so it was even cooler. (Wow that's a lot of cools). It went by fast though.
Man am I tired. I wish is were the weekend so I can sleep in. I'm always tired though now it seems...it's annoying...since when I'm tired I usually start day dreaming...
My side hurts...it's annoying...
I should start up chappie 3 on my book...ugh...
I dunno if I'll be online tonight, I think I need to do part 1 of an I Am English project...(yuck)...but it's only a collage so it should be done fast.
I found a lucky penny today! Go me!
Oh yeah, when I'm not blogging or doing work in keyboarding I play this: http://pouetpu.pbwiki.com/SMF_480X360 oooh yeeeah =)
Bad news though: my main celly screen has gone wack-o! It's all faint, and flickers a lot...my dad said he'll talk to Verizon though so that's good.
uuum...oh! My favorite show Bones is back on! It's was a pretty good one on last night, kept you thinking.
While working out I decided to talk in a country accent the whole time, which made us all laugh. My brother doesn't have a very good one so he gave up on it so my dad and I annoyed the heck out of him. I pulled a mussel in my arm while working out. I lifted up the weight while i was lying on the ground to do my sit-ups and my arm gave out for some weird reason and the weight twisted it funny as it went down.
I still did pretty good during badminton nonetheless! Rayy was good too! We played against Miranda W and Ailbert (I think her real name is Allison). We had to go into a tie breaker and we won! Woo hoo!
Biology was kind of cool. Some of the bacteria in the experiment glowed under a UV light and UV lights are cool anyways, so it was even cooler. (Wow that's a lot of cools). It went by fast though.
Man am I tired. I wish is were the weekend so I can sleep in. I'm always tired though now it seems...it's annoying...since when I'm tired I usually start day dreaming...
My side hurts...it's annoying...
I should start up chappie 3 on my book...ugh...
I dunno if I'll be online tonight, I think I need to do part 1 of an I Am English project...(yuck)...but it's only a collage so it should be done fast.
I found a lucky penny today! Go me!
Oh yeah, when I'm not blogging or doing work in keyboarding I play this: http://pouetpu.pbwiki.com/SMF_480X360 oooh yeeeah =)
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Why
It seems when you take a stainless steel pocket knife and put it against your wrist and press as hard as you think you can nothing happens.
At least for me.
Sure there is a small little line left, but it goes away after about 10 minutes.
Then my wrist burns for a bit.
I started doing this about 4 days ago? I dunno...
I dunno why I do it either.
I feel happy right now, i don't think there is any reason why I should do it. I tell myself that when I look at that pocket knife sitting on my end table. It's shiny in the light. It's stainless steel too and from China. That means if you lick it you'll get led poisoning. One time I hid it and thought that would work. How stupid is that? I know where it is, I freaking hid it. So I went back and got it and ya know, put it to my wrist.
I let it sit there for a moment ya know? I think about a whole bunch of different things like:
-Don't do it
-Push harder this time
-I like this song on my Ipod
-There's a finger print on the blade
-Hey my dad gave me this a few years ago, he got it from his work
-Why am I doing this?
-Wow it's late
-I want a permanent mark, just one
-What's wrong with me?
-1...2...3...
-Put it away
-Hide it
-Don't hide it
-Throw it away
-Don't throw it away, its got other gadgets too like a cork screw, mini scissors, nail file etc.
-4...5...6...
-What will my friends think?
-This is bad, I'm bad
-I'll blame it on the cat
-The line always goes away
-I should make this go away
It doesn't hurt as much as I thought it would. have you ever tried this before? Just once? Or just put the a blade to your wrist and see if you would do it but never do? Have you ever gotten this far? Have you ever gone farther than me? I hope I never get further. I hope I stop. Why don't I stop?
I'm talking to Dev right now. My voice sounds happy, I feel really happy.
Yet why do I put it up to my wrist? Am I like really really depressed deep down? I never like to be sad, when I am I try and push that feeling down into the pit of my stomach. It feels weird there for a second, like I'm going to puke, but then it goes away. Is my little 'trash bin' over filled? I don't think this is a way to empty it...
Wow those last two sentences sound stupid...oh well...
I read a book called Cut. The girl was cutting herself because....well I can't tell you that, it would ruin the book. But in the beginning she didn't know why. I hope I find out why before I like have to go to a therapist or something. I don't like them much...it seems they ask all the wrong questions or questions you don't know how to answer because you don't have the answer...
Maybe I'll stop tomorrow night. Maybe I won't.
I'm gonna tell my mom sooner or later I think....but I'll wait...I can stop on my own...I think...
Dev says she's hyper now. =) I smiled, I'm happy right? I'm smiling, I'm happy, I feel happy.
Why?
Why do I do this to myself?
I'd rather be confused like Dev or Ellie because boy asked them out than this.
I just looked in the light at my wrist right now. The mark is gone. I want I new one. Just one. Only one, that's permanent. Then I'll stop.
I shouldn't say that. I should stop now.
I should.
I will.
Soon.
I hope...
Do you hope I stop?
I think you do.
I hope you do.
Well that's it. That's my post.
What? You're thinking it must be a joke?
Yeah if I were you I would too. Seeing that I'm always so happy all the time. Right?
I love you. I just thought I would say that. I don't know why, it just sounds nice.
At least for me.
Sure there is a small little line left, but it goes away after about 10 minutes.
Then my wrist burns for a bit.
I started doing this about 4 days ago? I dunno...
I dunno why I do it either.
I feel happy right now, i don't think there is any reason why I should do it. I tell myself that when I look at that pocket knife sitting on my end table. It's shiny in the light. It's stainless steel too and from China. That means if you lick it you'll get led poisoning. One time I hid it and thought that would work. How stupid is that? I know where it is, I freaking hid it. So I went back and got it and ya know, put it to my wrist.
I let it sit there for a moment ya know? I think about a whole bunch of different things like:
-Don't do it
-Push harder this time
-I like this song on my Ipod
-There's a finger print on the blade
-Hey my dad gave me this a few years ago, he got it from his work
-Why am I doing this?
-Wow it's late
-I want a permanent mark, just one
-What's wrong with me?
-1...2...3...
-Put it away
-Hide it
-Don't hide it
-Throw it away
-Don't throw it away, its got other gadgets too like a cork screw, mini scissors, nail file etc.
-4...5...6...
-What will my friends think?
-This is bad, I'm bad
-I'll blame it on the cat
-The line always goes away
-I should make this go away
It doesn't hurt as much as I thought it would. have you ever tried this before? Just once? Or just put the a blade to your wrist and see if you would do it but never do? Have you ever gotten this far? Have you ever gone farther than me? I hope I never get further. I hope I stop. Why don't I stop?
I'm talking to Dev right now. My voice sounds happy, I feel really happy.
Yet why do I put it up to my wrist? Am I like really really depressed deep down? I never like to be sad, when I am I try and push that feeling down into the pit of my stomach. It feels weird there for a second, like I'm going to puke, but then it goes away. Is my little 'trash bin' over filled? I don't think this is a way to empty it...
Wow those last two sentences sound stupid...oh well...
I read a book called Cut. The girl was cutting herself because....well I can't tell you that, it would ruin the book. But in the beginning she didn't know why. I hope I find out why before I like have to go to a therapist or something. I don't like them much...it seems they ask all the wrong questions or questions you don't know how to answer because you don't have the answer...
Maybe I'll stop tomorrow night. Maybe I won't.
I'm gonna tell my mom sooner or later I think....but I'll wait...I can stop on my own...I think...
Dev says she's hyper now. =) I smiled, I'm happy right? I'm smiling, I'm happy, I feel happy.
Why?
Why do I do this to myself?
I'd rather be confused like Dev or Ellie because boy asked them out than this.
I just looked in the light at my wrist right now. The mark is gone. I want I new one. Just one. Only one, that's permanent. Then I'll stop.
I shouldn't say that. I should stop now.
I should.
I will.
Soon.
I hope...
Do you hope I stop?
I think you do.
I hope you do.
Well that's it. That's my post.
What? You're thinking it must be a joke?
Yeah if I were you I would too. Seeing that I'm always so happy all the time. Right?
I love you. I just thought I would say that. I don't know why, it just sounds nice.
Friday, April 4, 2008
Not exactly a good day
So most of the day JJ and I watched movies. We first watched the Corps Bride and ate Doritos and then after about an hour we went back down to the 'lower level' (a joke since our basement is finished) and watched Ice Age. I can't believe they're coming out with a third one...I didn't think the second Ice Age wasn't that good, one was enough. Disney likes to make a lot of series with three movies in it. Like Cinderella, Pirates of the Caribbean, Shiloh, and now Ice Age.
Oh yeah I get the ward for having Stupid Parents! Yay!
Why do you ask? Let me explain:
MOM:
Today while making cookies she noticed a hard chunk of whatever it was in the mixer so she reached her hand in to get it out....while the mixer was on.... Then when we tried to turn it off she nearly burn her hand on a hot cookie sheet and turned the mixer up another notch.
DAD:
We're having the guy that helped my dad make the bar in the 'lower level' since he's never seen it actually finished. He's actually one of my dad's friends and lives next door to his parents I believe. Anyways, he's going around all crazy trying to cleaning everything down there (which I must say is funny to watch) and he was cleaning the wood with what he thinks is Orange Pledge. It wasn't Orange Pledge...it was an orange bottle of Bug Spray. Bug Spray + Wood= Bad. Bad meaning it will ruin the finish.
Yeah.
So what just happened right now. Last night Peaches told me that Ryan's grandma had died. I felt bad for him. So i finally worked up the courage when he came back on idle to say this:
XashXwasntXhereX (8:36:35 PM): hellos
Cnaeus Dane (8:36:41 PM): bueno
XashXwasntXhereX (8:36:43 PM): hey i know it's a sad topic but i just wanted to say I'm sorry about your grandma
XashXwasntXhereX (8:36:52 PM): i bet she was a real great person
Cnaeus Dane signed off at 8:37:13 PM.
cnaeusdane is offline and will receive your IMs when signing back in.
XashXwasntXhereX (8:37:49 PM): i just wanted to let you know that I cared is all...sorry...
*sigh*
Was that wrong to say? I dunno but just now I texted him: I'm sorry for bringing it up. I just wanted to let you know that I care, I thought it would be nice to know.
Was that wrong too?
I just want to let him know that he's not completely alone. I know he has Peaches and like other family but lots of times it's good to know you have friends that care too. Right?
I feel kind of guilty for making him sad, mad, and whatever the heck else he's feeling but my reasons are okay for saying that I hope.
Oh yeah more bad things:
My Word 2007 isn't working, we've tried everything we can think of. So I reinstalled Word 2003 but it tells me I have to reinstall it again even though 2 seconds ago i just did...I'll work with it later...
I'm typing up the second chappie of my book after this on our home computer. It's not finished yet, but while you're waiting you can read my book's blog. It's listed in the Friends Blogs list is you didn't notice. I'll make up another post tonight too I think.
Well that's all for now!
Oh yeah I get the ward for having Stupid Parents! Yay!
Why do you ask? Let me explain:
MOM:
Today while making cookies she noticed a hard chunk of whatever it was in the mixer so she reached her hand in to get it out....while the mixer was on.... Then when we tried to turn it off she nearly burn her hand on a hot cookie sheet and turned the mixer up another notch.
DAD:
We're having the guy that helped my dad make the bar in the 'lower level' since he's never seen it actually finished. He's actually one of my dad's friends and lives next door to his parents I believe. Anyways, he's going around all crazy trying to cleaning everything down there (which I must say is funny to watch) and he was cleaning the wood with what he thinks is Orange Pledge. It wasn't Orange Pledge...it was an orange bottle of Bug Spray. Bug Spray + Wood= Bad. Bad meaning it will ruin the finish.
Yeah.
So what just happened right now. Last night Peaches told me that Ryan's grandma had died. I felt bad for him. So i finally worked up the courage when he came back on idle to say this:
XashXwasntXhereX (8:36:35 PM): hellos
Cnaeus Dane (8:36:41 PM): bueno
XashXwasntXhereX (8:36:43 PM): hey i know it's a sad topic but i just wanted to say I'm sorry about your grandma
XashXwasntXhereX (8:36:52 PM): i bet she was a real great person
Cnaeus Dane signed off at 8:37:13 PM.
cnaeusdane is offline and will receive your IMs when signing back in.
XashXwasntXhereX (8:37:49 PM): i just wanted to let you know that I cared is all...sorry...
*sigh*
Was that wrong to say? I dunno but just now I texted him: I'm sorry for bringing it up. I just wanted to let you know that I care, I thought it would be nice to know.
Was that wrong too?
I just want to let him know that he's not completely alone. I know he has Peaches and like other family but lots of times it's good to know you have friends that care too. Right?
I feel kind of guilty for making him sad, mad, and whatever the heck else he's feeling but my reasons are okay for saying that I hope.
Oh yeah more bad things:
My Word 2007 isn't working, we've tried everything we can think of. So I reinstalled Word 2003 but it tells me I have to reinstall it again even though 2 seconds ago i just did...I'll work with it later...
I'm typing up the second chappie of my book after this on our home computer. It's not finished yet, but while you're waiting you can read my book's blog. It's listed in the Friends Blogs list is you didn't notice. I'll make up another post tonight too I think.
Well that's all for now!
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
April Fools....I Guess
So yeah I'm still a little sick but that's okay, it didn't really get in the way of school. We played this really fun game today in PE called Pinball. As soon as the teacher said: "Alright we're all going to play Pinball!" Rayy, Edward, and I all looked at each other basically thinking: Are they seriously gonna let us run into people? Cool....
Well turns out that's not how the game is played- big surprise there. Basically one team gets one half of the court and the other team the other half and each team places 10 pins anywhere on their side. Then there is like 10-15 balls lined up in the middle of the gym and when the whistle blows, you charge and throw the ball's at the pins to knock them down. This time though- unlike PointBreak (an un-fun game...)- if you get hit you're not out! Which rocked my world because I think it's more fun- and easier- to block something by jumping in front of a ball. Call me crazy. No seriously, you can, even I call myself crazy.
Lunch was fine, math we were in the computer lab and my day was good. My dad even left me to funny messages on my phone. Also I even came home alone because my mom needed to pick up JJ from this math tutor class at school.
Then they got home.
10 seconds it was quiet then as soon as my mom told JJ to start his homework...the yelling started.
For about 2 years now, JJ has barley been passing school. Last year it was just him slacking on homework...but now...he's like not doing ANYTHING. He doesn't even turn in tests even though they're done.
When my mom found out JJ didn't turn in his big research project that was due before spring break she flipped. Trying to get the project done was hell enough at my house. He forgot the folder, the school was locked, we didn't have all the papers, he didn't do half the stuff, lot's of typing errors, didn't have the rubric.... Luckily with my help I got the rubric off the school's web site- thank you JJ's teacher for posting it up there...it's not like my teachers do anything like that, except my Bio teacher...
Well Sunday night I heard my mom tell JJ every five minutes "Turn in the folder, turn in your project." Yesterday morning: "Turn in the folder, turn in your project." When he got home that day my mom asked: "Did you turn it in?" He looked at her, said yes, then went on the computer. Well my mom goes in to help out JJ's classroom and some other teachers and my mom was all to his teacher: "Thank you for letting JJ turn in his folder yesterday!" and the teacher went: "What folder?"
I can obviously tell my parents are tired of this shit, while I was trying to to my homework I could hear my mom yelling at him, not only for that, but for his grades, his classwork, everything that's been happening since the beginning of 5th grade. My dad even said he'd throw him out of the house and have him go live in a home if he didn't get his act together...
That hurt me more than him.
Since I'm mad at him for being such an idiot, and agree partially with my parents. Then again, I didn't do so hot in Lee Eaton either- did a lot better than JJ- and it was hard so I understand him a bit. But I don't understand why he's acting like this! I mean, he's smart, and a good kid, there's no reason at all for him to be doing this! Is it like a guy thing or something? A phase? Cool even?
The only reason I haven't broken down crying is because that would make my cold worse...and make me feel worse for school as in I wouldn't have done my homework like I did tonight, wouldn't have even attempted to get it done, wouldn't really give a damn about my makeup quiz tomorrow and wouldn't do shit in math to get my C+ back to a B again. Or actually really wouldn't do shit in any class. Sure, I'd act all happy in the morning- which I really am somewhere in side. I dunno but being surrounded by my friends just....just makes me feel happy, relaxed, smart, belonged, even if I'm fighting with them, or ticked off at them... Anyways, I'd either be half happy, or I'd lie and say I'm tired.
Yeah, I stay up late and might be tired when I get up but when I get on the bus I'm up and alert so about...95.5% of the time I say I'm tired...I'm not...I must confess this, I don't need you guys thinking I have some sleeping problem and worrying about me...
*sigh*
Well I guess I should go to bed now, and try and sleep because I am tried because of my sinuses keeping me up last night. My throat is starting to bug me a lot now too and like my tonsils feel swelled...I better not have strep again or anything throat related...that'd just make my whole week roll down hill...At least my mom say's she'll take my to McDonalds tomorrow. Believe it or not I get excited over little things like that.
Night.
Well turns out that's not how the game is played- big surprise there. Basically one team gets one half of the court and the other team the other half and each team places 10 pins anywhere on their side. Then there is like 10-15 balls lined up in the middle of the gym and when the whistle blows, you charge and throw the ball's at the pins to knock them down. This time though- unlike PointBreak (an un-fun game...)- if you get hit you're not out! Which rocked my world because I think it's more fun- and easier- to block something by jumping in front of a ball. Call me crazy. No seriously, you can, even I call myself crazy.
Lunch was fine, math we were in the computer lab and my day was good. My dad even left me to funny messages on my phone. Also I even came home alone because my mom needed to pick up JJ from this math tutor class at school.
Then they got home.
10 seconds it was quiet then as soon as my mom told JJ to start his homework...the yelling started.
For about 2 years now, JJ has barley been passing school. Last year it was just him slacking on homework...but now...he's like not doing ANYTHING. He doesn't even turn in tests even though they're done.
When my mom found out JJ didn't turn in his big research project that was due before spring break she flipped. Trying to get the project done was hell enough at my house. He forgot the folder, the school was locked, we didn't have all the papers, he didn't do half the stuff, lot's of typing errors, didn't have the rubric.... Luckily with my help I got the rubric off the school's web site- thank you JJ's teacher for posting it up there...it's not like my teachers do anything like that, except my Bio teacher...
Well Sunday night I heard my mom tell JJ every five minutes "Turn in the folder, turn in your project." Yesterday morning: "Turn in the folder, turn in your project." When he got home that day my mom asked: "Did you turn it in?" He looked at her, said yes, then went on the computer. Well my mom goes in to help out JJ's classroom and some other teachers and my mom was all to his teacher: "Thank you for letting JJ turn in his folder yesterday!" and the teacher went: "What folder?"
I can obviously tell my parents are tired of this shit, while I was trying to to my homework I could hear my mom yelling at him, not only for that, but for his grades, his classwork, everything that's been happening since the beginning of 5th grade. My dad even said he'd throw him out of the house and have him go live in a home if he didn't get his act together...
That hurt me more than him.
Since I'm mad at him for being such an idiot, and agree partially with my parents. Then again, I didn't do so hot in Lee Eaton either- did a lot better than JJ- and it was hard so I understand him a bit. But I don't understand why he's acting like this! I mean, he's smart, and a good kid, there's no reason at all for him to be doing this! Is it like a guy thing or something? A phase? Cool even?
The only reason I haven't broken down crying is because that would make my cold worse...and make me feel worse for school as in I wouldn't have done my homework like I did tonight, wouldn't have even attempted to get it done, wouldn't really give a damn about my makeup quiz tomorrow and wouldn't do shit in math to get my C+ back to a B again. Or actually really wouldn't do shit in any class. Sure, I'd act all happy in the morning- which I really am somewhere in side. I dunno but being surrounded by my friends just....just makes me feel happy, relaxed, smart, belonged, even if I'm fighting with them, or ticked off at them... Anyways, I'd either be half happy, or I'd lie and say I'm tired.
Yeah, I stay up late and might be tired when I get up but when I get on the bus I'm up and alert so about...95.5% of the time I say I'm tired...I'm not...I must confess this, I don't need you guys thinking I have some sleeping problem and worrying about me...
*sigh*
Well I guess I should go to bed now, and try and sleep because I am tried because of my sinuses keeping me up last night. My throat is starting to bug me a lot now too and like my tonsils feel swelled...I better not have strep again or anything throat related...that'd just make my whole week roll down hill...At least my mom say's she'll take my to McDonalds tomorrow. Believe it or not I get excited over little things like that.
Night.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Tired of it
So i just lost a friend today- or more they lost me. Ryan the "God" of the MT (morning table= table me and most of my friends and some other ppl. sit at in the morning before the bell rings at school) just yet again exploded on me for no reason. I'm tired of it, I'm pissed, and I can't stand it anymore. I don't feel like doing anything anymore right now, just work and that's it. It might seem like i'm all happy on the outside but i'm really not right now. At least i have Dev, Rayy and everyone else by my side. I love you guys to death!
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