Shit Happens

Literally.

Buuuut we'll get to that later. =)

Check my e-mails because I was guessing that the one sent out to remind us about VV would have a different time than what that paper said.

I was right, paper said 8:30, e-mail said 8:15 =p

Mr.Loman came with us!!

=D

Today we were touring and learning about Cleveland's Industry.

Our first stop was Arcelor-Mittal Steel Co.

We got lost, did a little off-roading and then found our way to this guard place.

This woman came out and started yelling at us.

"Maaan ima 'bout to cal the po-liece!"

XD

She gave us the right directions though and we quickly found our way.

Once in the offices, our tour guy was a man that had retired from the company. Before we could tour we had to put on coats, huge safety glasses, hard hats, and ear headphones with a radio so we could hear him.

We all looked ridiculous. =p

It was pretty cold in the building (thank you Mr. J for telling me to bring my jacket!) and dusty, my shoes got really dirty. =/

The guy driving us in the van ran many stop signs that were located on the premises. =p

After we were done at the steel co. we went to meet up with a few people from Sherwin-Williams. The Head of Human Resources (who's name escapes me) showed us a power point, and Eric (who's name doesn't escape me =p) a guy that worked in the lab nearby.

He was rather good looking. ;)

After the presentation we ate at the Hard Rock Cafe. Our server, Zak, seriously looked and acted like he was on drugs or something. =p

Cyrus, Jeremy, and I then started talking about how a lot of guys who have the name of Zak are stupid.

Obviously I could relate. =D

Got our food, it was good, but expensive. =/

Went to Port of Cleveland next.

This nice lady gave us water bottles and cookies, Lienne and I agreed that it was like grandma's house or something. =p

We all gathered back into the van and toured around the dock. We got to a part where there was nothing but seagulls covering part of it.

Which, brings me to the title of this post. =)

A few of us were going "Hey Johansson, drive into the seagulls!"

At first I thought he wasn't going to do it but then suddenly he was like "ONCE IN A LIFE TIME CHANCE!" and headed right for em!

When they all flew up all this seagull shit rained down on the van!

XD

Everyone was screaming, it was hilarious.

Mr. Loman (who gave me the idea for the title =p) got out of the van after we were on the other side of the group of gulls and walked back to film them flying around.

Then we had to drive back through them.

Mr.J started yelling "WHITE VAN GONE ROUGE!"

I must say I think this part of our day was better than eating lunch.

=D

Cyrus drove me home, I napped for a half hour before dinner, and now I'm going to go downstairs and finally practice on my putting.

Then, HEROS!

=D

Oh, and Mr. Loman and Mr. J have earned they're own labels! =p


ily.

Annnnooooyyyyiiiinnnngggg

That last blog postie title....

Jealouse?

>=)

Blah.

Last night Hero's Villains was on from 9-11. I thought when they said 2 hour premier they meant the extra stuff in the first hour (sneak previews, people cheering on the red carpet) and then the next the actually show.

Heh heh...wrong!

I was tired. Even more so my mom was sick so I stayed up and check on her every so often. Sleep wasn't really possible last night.

Which probably leads me to my sour mood this morning. But hey, when you got Ariel glomping on you or Gerber asking me every time I'm a little crabby if I'm freaking slitting my wrists again, you tend to get that way.

Physics I nearly fell asleep in. We did stuff with sounds. Then in math we went to the computer lab today to create our passwords for the online book. We also go tons of homework. Joy. Supposed to have a test tomorrow in his class too, but we're not gonna be their cuz he'll be driving the team to Windmill lakes, leaving us to have to make it up. Brilliant.

PE I was now excited because we were playing softball. Last night my dad and I played catch outside and I batted and I was actually better than I thought I was (skillz!). Well, we get out side, and I had brought my mitt mind you, and........we're playing with a freaking wiffle ball.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

......

Also Zak was being lazy and sat in the dugout. Anoyying. Sad. Shameful.

.....*sigh*.....

Spanish was boring. We were doing this thing with saying which subject pronoun when talking about a person or thing and everybody kept saying you, or we, in Spanish even the teacher told them 15 TIMES (yes I counted) that we were only using el, ella, ellos, and ellas.

Dumbasses.

History was okay. People complained about notes, very annoying. I can't wait till they get to college! =D ... -_-

Art we painted, I'm not very good, and I don't prefer painting but oh well.

Now, here's what really, really, really made my day.

English class the teacher was like "NAH NAH NAH I'VE HEARD THAT YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN TOLD BY OTHER CLASSES THAT WE HAVE A QUIZ OR SOMETHING BLAH BLAH AND THAT'S CHEATING BLAH BLAH AND I WON'T ACCEPT IT BLAH BLAH *blubber jiggles* SO I'M JUST GOING TO MAKE THE TEST HARDER FOR YOU BLAH BLAH NAH NAH BLAH NAH!!!!!"

I got a 3/10.

Ryan got a 1/10.

Fucking ridiculous.

There goes my good grade in that class.

Ugh, and Thursday that stupid consular lady or whatever is coming in. I hate her. She kicked me out of her office because when she asked me what college I was planning on going to I said 'which ever one will take me' and said that I had no future.

Isn't she a load of fun and inspiration.

Wrist was killing me today and worse, coach noticed. I want to play tomorrow too. Windmill is a great course and I know it well. Shot my best game there for crying out loud! If he gives me this, oh well your wrist, and there's always next year crap I'll slap him so hard his head will spin.

....and there goes my grade in math if that happens.....

=)

I'd like to add that stress seems to be on the shoulders of many people. I think a little "I don't care fuck it" attitude helps for some things. For example:

Devvy Chan rushed to English from PE (didn't even change and was so out of breath she looked sick) because they let them into the locker room right when the bell rang, and Lardell said he wouldn't sign out a pass.

1. he was probably meaning the guys
2. the teachers would understand, it happens a lot, no biggie

So if Devlyn would have taken her time, it would have been alright, she would have been changed, and not have to worry about getting her real clothes out of her locker after school.

Now, when it comes to homework, don't us that attitude. I've tried...it doesn't work.

Big surprise there though.

Homework I get the easiest stuff done so I can concentrate more on the harder stuff and take my time and not have to worry about all the other little things I have to do.

When you get home, don't think about all the shit ya gotta do, it'll just overwhelm you.

Figure out what you'll be learning in class the next day. It will help you plan your day, and also get rid of the unknown, which stresses a lot of people (like me) out.

Example: Playing a new golf course in a match. I don't know where to hit or what to do and I lose my head and play bad.

Similar applies for school.

Don't concentrate on your grade, concentrate on doing your homework. You'll be surprised when it goes up and stays up. (at least that works for me, I don't get as worked up ya know?)

Ummm....if you don't know something, ask a friend, or e-mail your teacher.

To keep from forgetting your books during your last period class look in your planner and plan out what you need to take home so you're not rushing at your locker to make the bus.

Think that's some good advice....

Ya don't have to follow it, but if you try it, that would be nice. Hey, maybe it will work, though I'm no advice-giver-person. =p

We're going to Bob Evans tomorrow for breakfast before we go to golf! Weeeeeee!

Get to miss picture day. I'm glad, because I don't like pictures, but I'm defiantly more confident in my appearance.

Wish me luck tomorrow! =D

ily.

THE BIG NEWS

I FINISHED MY BOOK I'VE BEEN WRITING! It's all done! All 232 pages and 23 chapters! I started writing the sequel today in my notebook and it's pretty good.

So we had the math OGT today. I must admit I Inney Meany Minny Moed on 3 questions....but it has to work right?? o.o

classes were kind of boring today, i didn't have any contact with Ryan at all. At first I wasn't considering him a friend and the space between us was kind of small but now Peaches tried to help- and I do appreciate her efforts- it's gotten waaaaay further to the point where we don't really even look at each other or really acknowledge our existence. Oh well I guess.

OMG LUNCH TODAY. Some kid from a nearby table came over and said: "Um yeah I'm telling you that, that kid over there had a crush on you but he's too much of a chicken shit to tell you so I'm telling you."

Me: "Who? Trevor?"

Kid: "Yep." *leaves*

Was he joking or being serious I dunno but i don't really know Trevor. I mean I've never really talked to him before. I guess we'll see what happens.

Well that's all for today!

luv you guys!

Stress.

If I have too much work, I'm stressed. If I don't have enough work (especially after a period of having way too much) I'm stressed. So basically, no matter what happens I'm stressed.

*pokes stress*

Hey. Cut that out.








I suddenly feel regretful for almost every decision I've made in life. I gotta stop this shit.

YAY COLLEGE =D WHO KNEW IT'D BE THIS FUN?!

Hopeless Thinking Rambles

Ever since it happened I think about it every day...

Was is all my fault? Was it your fault? Was it really anybodies fault or just a fluke?

In the end you denied ever being involved but I've heard tale that you were. You and your ass of a boyfriend. I find it funny, myself saying that about him, when I knew your boyfriend longer than you did and I only just realized how much of an ass he was (think that's why I liked him so much sometimes actually...)...yet we were such good friends him and me...considered ourselves best friends (think his being an ass is why I liked him so much sometimes actually...). He told me things he wouldn't tell anyone. So did you.

So. I still can't understand. Why would you OR him do that?

Was is revenge?

Because I stopped doing things for you? Didn't see you as much?

I know I did bad in that. It happened with Andy. And it started happening with Michael too.

Maybe it was the whole honeymoon phase...I don't know. But I know that it's not acceptable.

I remember saying no to you so many times, that I had plans with either of them when I was with them. But you kept trying anyways.

In the end I know I should have made more time for you...I dunno why I stopped really.

But did that give any of you an excuse to tell my parents information I trusted you would keep to yourself?

Maybe it was some asinine way of trying to protect me from Michael. Because you thought he was this terrible person and that he was just using me or something. I honestly don't know. All communication really just kind of stopped after it happened. I was so shocked to hear where the information came from. Even since then I still have trust issues. I can't even trust myself anymore.

We never really got to really talking about what happened. We chatted through Facebook a little bit, you invited me to dinner. Then one day you snapped at me in a text and I snapped at you back and we haven't had contact since.

To be honest I don't even really remember what I said. I think it was something along the lines of you trying to control me and that I was done with it.

Another reason. Why I thought you did it. Or he did it.

You wanted to control me. I can't blame you...both of you have had too many events in your life where you couldn't control things...whether it was a dying father or divorced parents or whatever. So you tried to control what little you could. It's quite easy actually...you don't even really have to because you're friends and think on the same track, but even the best of friends have two totally different ideas on some things.

I dunno. I'm rambling.

My relationship with Michael is going strong. The rumors about him weren't true- obviously- and we'll be together a year on April 4th.

I still tell him stories about us. All the stupid/awesome things we've done. At least you and me.

Whether it was because you were trying to hurt me, protect me, or control me...I guess I forgive you. I don't know.

A lot of people say that because of what happened I should keep it like we are...which is nothing. But for some reason I just can't stop thinking about you and what we had.

I was the one that made the decision to stop talking in the end. I couldn't talk to you. I didn't know what to say. I couldn't trust you or your boyfriend or even, as I said before, myself for that matter.

You were the one that invited me to dinner that one time. So I guess that showed you have the same thoughts in terms of wishing we had a relationship again.

I still wonder if you do.

I don't know how to approach you.

I've heard you've been convinced that I left you for Michael. I didn't. I would have been happy to have both of you. But because of what happened in July I felt betrayed.

You probably feel betrayed too.

Maybe we should just talk about what happened. One on one. Our thoughts on the situation and all that.

See if this really can be revived.

I've heard stories of people forgiving their friends and relatives for even the most evilest of things just because they loved them and their relationship was so good before it.

Maybe that's what I should have done.

I don't think I could have though.

I don't know.

I still check on your Facebook page and read Rayy's blog to try and get information to make sure you're okay.

I heard you had a bad weekend. I still wish I was there for you.

I wonder if you even read my blog or care for me anymore.

I wonder if you hate me.

I wonder if you would even want to talk to me again anymore.

I wonder what you think of me.

Probably the most terrible person you ever met I'm sure. Which I guess I deserve. I don't know.

No matter what happens in my life I always make it out to be my fault. Maybe it always is. I don't know. God forbid I ever get into an abusive relationship.

If you still wanna talk...or even just tell me about how much of a terrible person I am...poke me on facebook or text me or call me or something.

If anything I just need to know why it happened. Who actually did it. And who was involved in the whole thing.

Maybe I'll post this on the comment section of your blog because I'm impatient...I don't know.

I'm actually afraid to text you or anything. I don't know why I'm not afraid to do this...

Shit. I don't even think this makes sense.

Or if I'm even using the right words and just making you even more pissed at me. I'm sure when I called your boyfriend an ass you kind went "Um...bitch say what?" I would too. Cuz in the end no matter what he is your boyfriend...

I just don't know anymore.

Sometimes I cry. Because I just don't know. I don't understand.

Do you cry? I'm sure you did.

Do you now?

Do you even care?

Do you wish...we could start over?