Today I got a letter from Akron saying that I've been selected to join the National Society of Leadership and Success. If it wasn't for my mother's badgering I would have thrown the letter away immediately. Apparently it's a real honor, I guess, and a great opportunity.
In reality, I'm not that excited about it at the moment. My first reaction was confusion and anger.
I couldn't have been selected for my grades. I can't really imagine my teachers nominating me. I'm not very talkative in class, I don't really participate at all. If I have a question or anything I'll wait until after class to ask it.
I feel that I haven't shown any signs of leadership while on campus. I just try to work hard/do well, and in the end, I feel that I even fail to do that.
I dunno...
The whole letter just sparked a whole bundle of insecurities. At one point I wanted to shake whoever thought I was worth this, or could even do this. I don't feel smart enough or capable enough.
I'll do it, I guess. It's a good opportunity. It will look good. It can help me get scholarship money. That means I need to get a better attitude about this. I need to tell myself that I can do this and that it'll be great. If anything, I can't waste the $85 that will be spent to even get into this.
I find it stupid that I have to pay for this 'honor'...I guess it's a lot of bang for my buck or something. Nothing is free in life as they say...
Meh. I'll be okay...I'm always okay in the end. I have to be.
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