Goals and the Bucket List

I've gotten to try so many different things this new year, and it's hardly even started yet.

Recently, I've tried archery and I've also gotten to go to my first shooting range. I'm also starting my education on Mandarin and have even dipped down into studying religion a bit (although that last one is required for my Humanities class I find it quite exciting).

I anticipate completing a lot of things on my bucket list this year and going out of my comfort zone a bit more.

I've recently had a few ponderings and conversations about trust. It's something that I feel I know a lot and yet so little about. I used to trust, quite easily. I would expect nothing but the best intentions from people. But now it's quite the opposite. I can't go around without thinking that someone is out to get me in some way. Or that their intentions are purely selfish and are only made out to look like they care.

My biggest goal/desire in life is to find someone that I truly and unquestionably trust. I don't know if they're in my life right now, or will be. However, it scares me that I may not find this in life. Granted, I know it will also take some work on my part. I feel that I have made some progress, and I can think of a few 'candidates'...

It's just, trust to me is my happiness and reason in life. If I can't trust anyone like that then my life just seems unfulfilled and as if there is no point to it. I put a lot of value in it.

I've been careless with it before, and that has come to bite me in the ass (although I've learned a lot from that...), yet sometimes I still urge to be a bit careless and trust people when I know I probably shouldn't.

Maybe I should trust myself more first.

Maybe I'm just an idiot.

Regardless if I am or not, I'd still rather be a happy idiot...