Alone

I'm house sitting again for Anna (I baby sit for her too) while she's on vacation. Last night Dave, Michael and I partied it up but tonight it may just be me and the dog.

It made me slightly disappointed in myself that I'm a little afraid to sleep alone tonight.

I mean, to really think about it...I've NEVER really been alone in my life. Especially recently with all the time I've spent either at work, baby sitting, or with friends or Mikey. Never have I ever spent time somewhere (overnight at least) alone. I'm sure a big part of it is because it's at night that I'm spooked.

But shit. Some of my old friends and current ones would spend nights on end alone, and they were in freaking high school, or even middle school maybe. I'm going into my second year of college.

It's weird.

In the end though, I think this type of thing will be rare...I can't really imagine myself living on my own in the terms of just me in an apartment. If anything I'll have a roommate...or Mikey.

It frustrates that I depend on people so much for my happiness. I think about freshman me who really didn't care to hang with anyone and preferred to be alone. Sure, I had a lot of friends, but being alone never bothered me.

Now it does. It makes me feel very depressed. It's crazy. Makes me feel too dependent.

I give people props who can do this. =/

At least I have the dog and Mikey Bear to snuggle with tonight.